One of the
things that gave me confidence in life was that I believed I had the Almighty
Creator/God watching over me, directing me, guiding my every step, protecting
me from harm, and answering my prayers.
I now know
that is not the case anymore. I finally stopped praying.
How could I pray
for my daily bread when I see thousands of children starving every day? Why
would I be more important than them?
How can I pray to God to deliver me from the “Evil
One” when I turn the television and I see children floating on the ocean,
drowned because they were fleeing their country that was engaged in war by a bunch of evil men?
How can I pray
to God when I see a man crying relentlessly because he was not able to save his
wife and children from dying in the ocean?
Why would I be
better than him?
Why would
God answer my prayers instead of answering the prayers of these children and
parents when they were gasping for their last breath and their eyes were seeing
their last glimpse of sunlight and the beautiful blue sky?
I remember
being at the hospital with a large group of witnesses, supporting this brother
whose wife was giving birth and had run into complications. It was a young
couple and it was their first child. She started hemorrhaging internally. I
remember the doctor come to the waiting room and tell the husband what was
happening. I remember the doctor’s words; “We can SAVE Her”
But
the husband said; “NO BLOOD” All of us, about fifty brothers and sisters
started praying to God. We would not stop. About an hour later the doctor
walked in and tells the Husband; “I’m Sorry, your wife died”
No one
questioned it except me. I remember asking one of the elders; “Why didn’t
Jehovah answer our prayers”
His reply;
“Sometimes “We” pray
for the wrong thing”
WTF, how can
praying for someone’s life be praying for the wrong thing?
Now I finally
know the truth, and I don’t like it.
I’m on my
own.